Trust The Process

And other things I learnt when I was 28

Photo by Oliver Cole on Unsplash

It’s becoming a bit of a tradition to do a post on my birthday about what I learnt the year before, and 28 was huge. It was the most challenging year of my life by far — the biggest shifts, the toughest lessons and the most tears [side note: if you haven’t heard of Saturn Returns, Google it and prepare for your mind to be blown]. It’s crazy to think how radically things can change in 365 days so here it is in list form, what 28 taught me about life;

1. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. EVER. This is a big one. We can’t ever fully know anyone but ourselves, and nothing productive ever comes from comparison. Now that I’m staying in my own lane, I’m much happier watching the other more powerful, fancy cars drive past while I enjoy my own journey.
2. Similar to lesson one; don’t worry what everyone else is doing — our brains aren’t wired to be constantly processing hundreds of peoples lives. We’re inundated with updates on social media, and it’s nice to know what friends are up to, but not when it becomes a measure for our lives. Everyone else doesn’t know better. Measure yourself against your own goals.
3. Don’t crowdfund for big decisions. I used to subconsciously ask for everyone’s opinions but sometimes you have to look inward.
4. Let happy people be happy. Even if you don’t feel as bouncy as someone in that moment, let them have their time in the sun. It’ll be your turn soon enough.
5. Energy is EVERYTHING. If something is making you negative, you have to let it go. Put your energy and intention into what you want and the Universe will take care of the rest. Do you leave people feeling better or worse?
6. Jealousy is usually triggered most by people we’re similar to, not different from. Channel it to work out how you’d like to improve and change your life instead. And in the process, choose admiration over anger.
7. Wash away all the illusions that you have about yourself — they’re probably holding you back from your dream life.
8. Sometimes it feels good to feel bad. Don’t buy into it.
9. Make the first move. I’m always waiting for someone else to make the first move to see their job/relationship/location move works out. Fortune favours the brave.
10. People can normally see the things that you think you’re hiding so you may as well be authentic.
11. Some people will surprise you. Give them a second chance.
12. Alone time can feel uncomfortable, because it’s powerful. If we all took more time out to just think, there’d be less overflow of our unprocessed emotions.
13. Life is art. Paint your canvas in a beautiful way.
14. Make a daily, weekly, monthly list and stick to it.
15. Don’t avoid things, especially yourself.
16. You don’t have to decide RIGHT NOW. Park it and come back to it. Everything is 100 times less scary and confusing when you’ve thought about it for a few days.
17. It is so nice when someone actually speaks their truth, and it turns out to be what we were all thinking. Put yourself out there, because that’s what we’re all craving — a bit of a shake up.
18. If you’re lacking purpose, shift your focus to how you can give back to people with whatever you’ve got.
19. If you can’t find what you’re looking for — create it. If you can’t work out who your tribe is — create a new one. The best things in life happen organically.
20. Chase the high that comes from within and from making other people happy instead of money, fame and Instagram likes.
21. Sometimes you are not your mind. Learn when you just have to go against your gut instinct and trust logic.
22. Bad food affects your mood. [Another repeat from last year, but this is so true. Sugar tastes great, but it’s genuinely like a drug. One taste only.]
23. If you’ve ever been anxious in a relationship, look up attachment theory.
24. You will probably never get the apology you deserve. There are two sides to every story and there’s no point waiting. Give yourself the permission to move on.
25. You never know who you’ll connect with, honour it and learn what you’re meant to learn.
26. Let go of lofty, ego driven ambitions and try to be useful every day.
27. Don’t clog up your whole life with stuff. Re-wear old clothes and celebrate outfit repeating. Wait to buy and see if you really want/need something.
28. Trust the process. This time next year, you’ll see why things had to happen the way they did.

Find me on Instagram @21xseven.